Yes...it's true. I guess I'll always be...a virgin mom, that is. It's not easy either. Over the past 25 years I have had moments of I-have-this-down...but if truth be told, I have had more oh-my-gosh-I-am-so-clueless moments as it pertains to parenting.
Just about the time you think you are in your mom groove a new life event comes along and knocks you off your tricycle. Two such events have happened in the last few weeks.
My son, Drew, is heading off to big-boy college in Arlington, TX. Granted...it's not on the other side of the world, but it might as well be. He's finally leaving the nest and starting out on his own. (insert big sigh here) My feelings are mixed...okay...honestly...I feel like I'm on the biggest, badest, roller coaster on the planet. I've been calling him almost daily making sure he has everything he will need for his new venture. The only thing I haven't asked about is if he has enough underwear. Hopefully, by now, he should have that down. Then again...(oh dear).
He will be fine. He has proven himself in the past two years. He...on his own...registered for community college, got a job to pay for it and has been pulling down good grades. This is the boy that was A.D.D. from grade school on and struggled to make C's. It's the same boy that thought playing soccer meant running up and down the field with a big ole fat grin on his face and never having to touch the ball. It was all about the community for him...and the fun. This is also the boy who once told me that it was okay for the boys to chase him and throw stuff at him on the playground because they were at least playing with him... (my heart still aches just typing that). But...it's also the boy that gave nearly every summer to do some kind of mission work and is a boy that everyone loves because of his monstrous heart.
He has grown into a fine young man...full of grace and full of faith. What could a mother ask for?
The other event that emerged this past couple of weeks is that my oldest is officially dating a boy. It's so "official" that she and he changed their statuses on Facebook. (insert another sigh here). Let me just say...I am elated for both of them...and...well...me. There...I said it...I confess it...I've been waiting for this. I love all three of my beautiful kids. All of them are so God focused and love Him unabandonedly. As a result...having a boyfriend or girlfriend hasn't exactly been on their radar. Again...what more could a mother ask for??? In this case...I wanted just one of them to have a special someone...you know...for just the HOPE of a wedding and grandbabies. (This is about the place in the blog that my oldest will be mortified). But...if blogs are for honesty and baring our souls...then I have done just that.
This new experience as a mom has probably provided me the most angst. I want so badly to know everything about what is going on...but I don't want to be a total goof in my daughter or her boyfriend's eyes. Frankly...I'm new at this and am clueless on how to do the-mom-of-a-daughter-dating-a-boy thing. I feel like the new girl in class, the girl with a huge zit on her nose, the girl to be picked last for Red Rover, the girl with a piece of spinach unknowingly stuck in her teeth all rolled into one big girl...mom...who just wants to feel comfortable in her own mom skin again.
I guess, bottom line...I will always be the "new" mom. I won't know what I am doing...but will press forward and pray that I do the right thing. I know I haven't done it all right up to this point...but know that God can make a way for a virgin mom like me.
